I believe that when we die we go to chocolate.
Depictions of heaven with the clouds and angels,
Actually melt in my milkshake fountains.
If i could eat one thing
With no future implications
That one thing would be ‘bad’.
I’m surrounded by snacks,
Suffocating in succulent sweets,
Taunting my daunting weaknesses,
I think this is,
A scheme coming straight from the Tooth Fairy who might be low on inventory,
Oh the glory
Those delectable delights,
Sprite size bites that invite so politely
I think every day that I might be
Tapping the mat,
Saying “uncle” to chocolate sin,
I’m only in the freakin’ office and I CAN’T WIN…
There’s bagels and butter and cinnamon pound cake,
My bones shake
And I refuse to partake,
But the essence emanates,
It’s a sensory earthquake
That’s worth taking everything
Chips and dip,
Popcorn salty lips,
Truffles and cookies,
I book the,
But “Hey, diet –
I’m playing hookie… making nookie
To the bowls of kisses
Starburst flavored hugs,
Pastries and wrapped Doves,
Pretzels, muffins, handfuls of trail mix
Now I need Red Bull to stay up and finish it!
So why is it?
That when I Google ‘office snacks’
The first page of results relate to the word “healthy”?
Please help me
Because I’m on an island,
Stranded in no-mans-land,
With a self-serving demand,
A personal reprimand,
To put food in my mouth when I’m hungry
Eating something I can stand!
What the heck is healthy?
Everything branded that way is kind of stealthy!
Labels are deceptive
So the population is receptive,
Not quite perceptive,
And I’m standing out here like a lone dog skeptic
With a hectic
That can’t be kept in.
But fuck that shit
Because I’m a fighter,
The sole decider
Of whether or not to bite a,
Piece of the pie that I can swallow,
Or just wait for lunch
It’s only an intangible that’s packing that punch,
So I’ll crunch some data and hit the alphas and betas
There’s a way ta
Avoid everything that’s in my face,
It’s will power, Conscious over matter,
That keeps my head held high
And my persona embraced…
But when I die,
I will go to chocolate.
Sometimes it feels like everywhere I turn in life I'm surrounded with bad-for-you foods. When it comes to the office, all that's around is pretzels, chips, burritos, candy, chocolate, etc. etc...
How does one try to stay healthy in a world full of fat and sugar??? ARGHHHHH!!!
Hmmm...sounds like a good topic for my next slam poem :)
So yea, this is a totally not serious poor-attempt-at-being-funny-or-silly poem. If it sucks, it sucks. It's OK.