"Good Enough" by Chan

This poem was written after a particularly upsetting argument. It's about the struggle for Chan in finding her own worth in a relationship with someone she had relied on emotionally for a long time due to repeated episodes of depression and psychosis. 

​"GOOD ENOUGH"
​
​​Excuse me for thinking that I'm not quite good enough.

Not quite woman enough
Nor man enough,
Not quite the mother i should be,
Nor the lover you want me to be,
Not strong enough
Or soft enough,
Not really thin enough, thick enough, toned enough, perky enough, (not like when i was 22 and that first time in your room... how beautiful i looked to you),
Not rested enough,
Trying to take on too much, 
Spreading myself too thin, but...
My lazy ass could be more efficient.. If i just tried harder,
Not productive enough,
The house isn't clean enough, (Not like So and Sos... and why can't i take their advice)

But I'm good enough to be the most amazing woman you ever met,
The woman you can't live without,
The one who moulds the minds of your children,
The only woman to see you vulnerable, 
Who holds you at 4am drunk and depressed,
Who embraces your darkness,
Takes the brunt of your pain,
Comes back when you push me away,
Listen's to and absorbs your shame,
Bends in every which way to keep us together...
Takes it as gospel when you say forever..

So excuse me for feeling that I'm more than enough for you.