"When We Die We Go To Chocolate"

I believe that when we die we go to chocolate.

Depictions of heaven with the clouds and angels,
Actually melt in my milkshake fountains.
If i could eat one thing
With no future implications
That one thing would be ‘bad’.

I’m surrounded by snacks,
Suffocating in succulent sweets,
Treats,
Taunting my daunting weaknesses,
I think this is,
A ploy,
A plot,
A scheme coming straight from the Tooth Fairy who might be low on inventory,
Oh the glory
Of unwrapping 
Those delectable delights,
Sprite size bites that invite so politely
I think every day that I might be 
Caving in,
Tapping the mat,
Saying “uncle” to chocolate sin,
I’m only in the freakin’ office and I CAN’T WIN…

There’s bagels and butter and cinnamon pound cake,
My bones shake
And I refuse to partake,
But the essence emanates, 
And penetrates,
It’s a sensory earthquake
That’s worth taking everything 
And sinking
My teeth
Into heaven…

Chips and dip, 
Popcorn salty lips,
Cereal, 
Granola bars, 
Truffles and cookies,
I book the, 
Other way
But “Hey, diet –
Looky, looky”
I’m playing hookie… making nookie 
To the bowls of kisses 
That give
Starburst flavored hugs,
Pastries and wrapped Doves,
I love
Pretzels, muffins, handfuls of trail mix
Now I need Red Bull to stay up and finish it!

So why is it?

That when I Google ‘office snacks’
The first page of results relate to the word “healthy”?
Please help me
Understand,
Because I’m on an island,
Stranded in no-mans-land,
With a self-serving demand, 
A personal reprimand,
To put food in my mouth when I’m hungry 
But be
Eating something I can stand!

What the heck is healthy?
Everything branded that way is kind of stealthy!
Labels are deceptive
So the population is receptive, 
Not quite perceptive,
And I’m standing out here like a lone dog skeptic
With a hectic 
Craving 
That can’t be kept in.

But fuck that shit 
Because I’m a fighter,
The sole decider
Of whether or not to bite a,
Piece of the pie that I can swallow,
Or just wait for lunch
It’s only an intangible that’s packing that punch,
So I’ll crunch some data and hit the alphas and betas
There’s a way ta 
Avoid everything that’s in my face,
It’s will power, Conscious over matter,
That keeps my head held high 
And my persona embraced…

But when I die,
I will go to chocolate.

Sometimes it feels like everywhere I turn in life I'm surrounded with bad-for-you foods. When it comes to the office, all that's around is pretzels, chips, burritos, candy, chocolate, etc. etc...

How does one try to stay healthy in a world full of fat and sugar???  ARGHHHHH!!!

Hmmm...sounds like a good topic for my next slam poem :)

So yea, this is a totally not serious poor-attempt-at-being-funny-or-silly poem. If it sucks, it sucks. It's OK.

Other recommended poems based on this one:  I SEE YOU THERE  |  HUFFY  |  SHOTS!

Need help writing slam poetry? Check out some posts, blogs and articles here