"Who Is This Girl"
Submitted by Jessica Rawlins
Who is this girl that resides within.
I can't stand this person in my skin.
From innocent lady to full blown junkie.
How could I expect anyone to trust me.
At first I thought it might be a phase but I'd continue to chase you day after day.
I never knew where I'd end up.
But I knew in my heart to never give up.
So many times I wished I were dead.
All thoughts going through my head.
I look back to when I said that's one thing id never try.
But life became unbearable I did nothing but cry.
I did everything you said without a fight.
I began to think about you day and night.
At first you kept your promises you didn't let me down.
But when I tried to leave you, you kicked me to the ground.
I knew this would be hard from what I was told.
I made my decision and chose to be bold.
This struggle is so real how could I ever replace the numbness I feel.
When I didn't have you I didn't feel whole.
If Satan was real I would've sold my soul.
Soon I would stop thinking of who I used to be.
I had no one it's now just you and me.
I have nobody but myself to blame.
I'm sure all you others feel the same.
I would soon start to steal and lie.
I did what I must just to get that high.
I let everyone who loved me down.
I would eventually become the talk of the town.
I had to put my foot down and say enough.
But in the back of my mind I knew it would be tough.
I eventually got the courage to leave you and stay away.
But you kept coming back day after day.
I can no longer give you the power to possess me.
I now know all you do is stress me.
You'll always be there on the back of my head not giving a shit of what I said.
I let you control my every way.
If I could say something to you I would say.
I hate you more than you'll ever know.
Because of you I'll learn to let go.
You ruined my life so fucking bad.
If I only knew what I really had.
You took and took until I was gone barely recognized by my mom.
Now that I'm over you I now see that because of you I now hate me.
You still come to me and whisper in my ear.
But every time I think of you I'm stricken with fear.
I did listen when they all have said that you'll always be there in the back of my head.
But as long as I stay strong I know the temptation won't last long.
And when you see I'm standing my ground there will be no reason to stick around.
You hope I forget all the pain I went through.
But that will all come back if I run back to you.
The pain you caused was so severe I'm surprised I'm still here.
I'll never forget the withdrawal pain and how it nearly drove me insane.
Those bad memories will never die.
And I'm great full for that and here's why...
When my patience starts running thin I'll always remember the pain within.
You have my sister and my brother.
Shit you even tried to take my mother.
Even though your grip is tight.
I pray everyday they win this fight.
I wish so bad there was something I could do.
But they won't listen to me because of you.
They both lost everything their family their home.
I know what it's like to feel all alone.
They both have kids that need them right now.
I'll help them get away if they don't know how.
So please leave them alone stop with your obsession.
They are not your property or your possession.
They will eventually get strong enough and walk away and do what they must to keep you at bay.
Then you can move on to pursue your goal and try to take over yet another soul.
Then I'll make it known to every girl and boy your only intention is to destroy.
By Jessica. ❤
I can't stand this person in my skin.
From innocent lady to full blown junkie.
How could I expect anyone to trust me.
At first I thought it might be a phase but I'd continue to chase you day after day.
I never knew where I'd end up.
But I knew in my heart to never give up.
So many times I wished I were dead.
All thoughts going through my head.
I look back to when I said that's one thing id never try.
But life became unbearable I did nothing but cry.
I did everything you said without a fight.
I began to think about you day and night.
At first you kept your promises you didn't let me down.
But when I tried to leave you, you kicked me to the ground.
I knew this would be hard from what I was told.
I made my decision and chose to be bold.
This struggle is so real how could I ever replace the numbness I feel.
When I didn't have you I didn't feel whole.
If Satan was real I would've sold my soul.
Soon I would stop thinking of who I used to be.
I had no one it's now just you and me.
I have nobody but myself to blame.
I'm sure all you others feel the same.
I would soon start to steal and lie.
I did what I must just to get that high.
I let everyone who loved me down.
I would eventually become the talk of the town.
I had to put my foot down and say enough.
But in the back of my mind I knew it would be tough.
I eventually got the courage to leave you and stay away.
But you kept coming back day after day.
I can no longer give you the power to possess me.
I now know all you do is stress me.
You'll always be there on the back of my head not giving a shit of what I said.
I let you control my every way.
If I could say something to you I would say.
I hate you more than you'll ever know.
Because of you I'll learn to let go.
You ruined my life so fucking bad.
If I only knew what I really had.
You took and took until I was gone barely recognized by my mom.
Now that I'm over you I now see that because of you I now hate me.
You still come to me and whisper in my ear.
But every time I think of you I'm stricken with fear.
I did listen when they all have said that you'll always be there in the back of my head.
But as long as I stay strong I know the temptation won't last long.
And when you see I'm standing my ground there will be no reason to stick around.
You hope I forget all the pain I went through.
But that will all come back if I run back to you.
The pain you caused was so severe I'm surprised I'm still here.
I'll never forget the withdrawal pain and how it nearly drove me insane.
Those bad memories will never die.
And I'm great full for that and here's why...
When my patience starts running thin I'll always remember the pain within.
You have my sister and my brother.
Shit you even tried to take my mother.
Even though your grip is tight.
I pray everyday they win this fight.
I wish so bad there was something I could do.
But they won't listen to me because of you.
They both lost everything their family their home.
I know what it's like to feel all alone.
They both have kids that need them right now.
I'll help them get away if they don't know how.
So please leave them alone stop with your obsession.
They are not your property or your possession.
They will eventually get strong enough and walk away and do what they must to keep you at bay.
Then you can move on to pursue your goal and try to take over yet another soul.
Then I'll make it known to every girl and boy your only intention is to destroy.
By Jessica. ❤
Other recommended poems based on this one: SICK | DOPESICK | DOPESICK PT. 2
Need help writing slam poetry? Check out some posts, blogs and articles here
Need help writing slam poetry? Check out some posts, blogs and articles here